8 Fitness Phrases That Need to Be Retired

They’re everywhere. Printed on tee’s and tanks. Plastered on gym walls. Posted on Pinterest and Tumblr. These awful quotes keep me up at night, not really, but they are so awful that I decided to dedicate an entire blog post to them because of their “awfulness.”

Pain is weakness leaving the body.

No, pain is pain. If you continue to workout with an injury, you’re doing more harm than good. Sure, it’s OK to push yourself, but if you’re continuously overworking yourself or training with an injury you’re vulnerable to long term damage–take some time off for recovery. This quote needed to be retired since I first saw it on a cross-country t-shirt in middle school.

Abs are made in the kitchen.

Abs are not made. And, if they were made, they wouldn’t be made in the kitchen. High-intensity cardio, progressive resistance, and a lean diet will strengthen your core. Remember, there is no such thing as spot reduction, and sandwiches are made in the kitchen.

I’m currently in training to be your hottest ex-girlfriend.

Ladies, come on. If you’re training, you should be doing it for yourself, not anyone else, especially your ex. He’s your ex for a reason (didn’t shower, forgot your birthday, mistook your mom for your sister) remember that. That’s all I need to say about this one.

No matter how slow you go, you are still lapping everyone on the couch.

Well, what if that person on the couch ran seven miles today? What if they set a PR? Quit worrying about your competition and focus on setting new goals and achieving your own next best personal record. Then, you can be the one relaxing or icing your shin splints on the couch.

Exercise in the morning before your brain figures out what you’re doing.

Obviously someone’s brain wasn’t working when they decided to type this quote out. Exercise because you want to, not because you have to. Fitness should be something that can be enjoyed–not a miserable experience. If you don’t like your current routine or the gym you belong to, shake things up with inventive new workouts or try working out with a friend.

Nothing tastes as good as skinny feels.

OK, Kate Moss. Not everyone can live off of a diet of cigarettes. Chocolate cake tastes good. Peanut butter is pretty good-tasting. Avocados, oranges, blueberries, turkey bacon–yep, these are all pretty delicious. Eat what you love, just eat in moderation and train consistently. Who knows, you might even end up skinny anyways.

Do it for the “holy shit you got hot.”

No. No. No. Again, do it for yourself. Body positive activists are banging their heads against the wall over this self-destructing quote. Instead of “doing it” for all of your haters, try doing it for yourself. I promise you’ll be much happier with the result. A little self-love goes a long way.

When I exercise I wear all black. It’s like a funeral for my fat.

It’s time to bury this one for good. Working out in all black is fine, but fat doesn’t “die” so it doesn’t get a funeral. When your body burns fat, it works to convert fat cells into usable forms of energy in a process called lipolysis. During lipolysis, components of fatty acids and glycerol are shuffled around, producing water, heat, carbon dioxide and adenosine triphosphate. Water exits our bodies as both sweat and urine, and we exhale all of the CO2. Now you know.

Photo courtesy of Pascal/Flickr

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